Look, I’ve been writing about human behavior for years now, and theres one thing that keeps surprising me. The biggest transformations in peoples lives? They almost never start with some grand gesture or massive commitment. They start with one small decision. One phone call. One consultation.
I was reminded of this last week when I met Sarah at a conference in Perth. She pulled me aside during a break and showed me a photo from two years ago. I barely recognized her. “That decision to call Bariatric Surgeon Dr Stephen Watson,” she said, “it took me three months to work up the courage. Three months! For a phone call that lasted maybe five minutes.” But that call changed everything for her.
See, we’ve got this weird relationship with change. We want it desperately but we’re terrified of it at the same time. We’ll spend months, even years, thinking about making a change instead of just… doing something about it. Its like we’re waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect sign, the perfect alignment of stars or whatever.
But heres what nobody tells you about transformation – its messy. Its not Instagram-perfect. Sarah told me about her journey and it wasnt all smooth sailing. There were doubts. There were hard days. There were moments when she wondered if she’d made the right choice. But she also told me about hiking with her kids for the first time in years. About sleeping through the night without struggling to breathe. About feeling like herself again.
The thing is, we often think we need to have everything figured out before we take that first step. We need the perfect plan, the perfect mindset, the perfect support system. But thats not how real change works. Real change starts when you’re still scared, still uncertain, still full of questions. It starts with picking up the phone or sending that email or booking that appointment.
I see this in my own life too. Every book I’ve written, every major decision I’ve made – they all started before I felt ready. Because if you wait until you’re ready, you’ll be waiting forever.
What strikes me most about stories like Sarah’s is how that one decision creates a ripple effect. She didn’t just lose weight. She gained confidence. Her energy changed. Her relationships improved. Her whole outlook on life shifted. All from one phone call she almost didn’t make.
And this is where it gets interesting from a behavioral perspective. Once you make that first small step, something shifts in your brain. You go from being someone who thinks about change to someone who creates change. Its a subtle but powerful identity shift. You become someone who takes action, even when its scary.
I’m not saying every big change needs to involve surgery or medical intervention. But I am saying that whatever change you’re contemplating – whether its health-related, career-related, relationship-related – its probably not going to start with you feeling 100% ready and confident. Its going to start with you being about 40% ready and doing it anyway.
The people who transform their lives aren’t necessarily braver or stronger or more disciplined than everyone else. They’re just willing to start before they feel ready. They’re willing to take that first imperfect step.
So what’s your phone call? What’s that first small step you’ve been putting off? Because I can pretty much guarantee that five years from now, you won’t regret taking action. But you might regret waiting for the perfect moment that never came.
The truth is, transformation doesn’t wait for permission. It doesn’t wait for the right time. It doesn’t wait for you to have all the answers. It just waits for you to begin.
And beginning? Thats the only hard part. Everything else is just showing up.
