Finding yourself coming out of a long-term relationship and being single for the first time in a while can come with a whirlwind of emotions. You might be grappling with getting over your partner, dealing with loneliness, and wondering how to find someone new or if you even should.
Regardless of how your breakup went, there’s going to be a lot on your plate, a lot to deal with, and a lot to consider for the next few months of your life. Here are a few tips on how to deal with this one chapter closing, and a new one beginning.
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Take Your Time
Many people make the mistake of leaping right back into the dating game as soon as their ex clicks the door behind them. Avoiding loneliness and filling the hole that someone has left in your life might feel like the easiest way to cope with the pain you’re feeling, but chances are that you’re setting yourself up for disaster and robbing yourself of a chance to grieve – which you deserve. Healing takes time, so if you’re really feeling the effects of your breakup, allow yourself to feel the hurt for a while and work through all the emotions you’re feeling. Whether it’s anger, betrayal, disbelief, or hopelessness, allow yourself to process the feelings until they aren’t so raw anymore.
Get Back Out There
Once you feel like you’ve made some progress in moving on, only then should you start dipping your toes into the romantic world again. Whether you want to wait only a few weeks, or months before you decide to open yourself up again is purely up to you, but it’s important to listen to your gut and follow what feels right to you.
Getting back out there might be daunting at first. The most important thing to remember is that you need to be sure of what you want. Decide whether you’re looking for something serious again, or perhaps just want to have a little fun. If that’s the case, platforms like the SP Date site might be a good way to ease into things without worrying you’ll get in too deep with someone emotionally.
Focus On Yourself
Perhaps you’re not interested in a new relationship right now – and that’s perfectly fine too! Look at your new single life as an opportunity to focus purely on yourself, what you want and need out of life and any chances you might want to make. This is your chance to remake who you are into the best possible version of yourself.
Consider all the things you stopped doing or set aside because you were prioritising your relationship, or perhaps a partner was holding you back. Pick up on hobbies, start that side hustle you’ve been thinking of, or simply throw yourself into some self-improvement in the little ways. Taking better care of your nutrition, health, and fitness is a great way to take your mind off things, refocus your energy and get yourself feeling better than ever, both physically and mentally.
Get Closure
If you’re struggling to move on, the age-old cliché is, unfortunately, going to come into play. Moving on and finding peace after a breakup is near impossible if you don’t have closure.
If your relationship went sour, you had a nasty breakup or you have unanswered questions that still keep you up at night weeks later, it might be time to call in for a coffee. Talking to your ex again might be a sensitive spot and a hard thing to do, but if you called things off on a bad note, it’s important to do your best to clear the air, make yourself heard and try to close things off civilly and peacefully, if you can’t manage friendship and kindness right now. In the end, forgiveness will set you free and you need to prioritise your own peace of mind, whatever that might mean for you.
Final Thoughts
As hard as things may feel, try to be proactive in your breakup and find opportunities in your new life. Set your sights on moving on and feeling better than ever, and work your way towards achieving that. Keeping this goal in mind throughout the process will make the hard days easier.
Make decisions that prioritise your own happiness and take charge of your life and your future to avoid letting the pain and loneliness get you down. Most importantly, remember that your strength and worth don’t lie in whether or not you have a partner.
